…words we all should learn to live by:
I loved sleep away camp.
Our church would take our youth group to Summer’s Best Two Weeks (SB2W) in Boswell, PA.
We would bike, hike, rock climb…
I loved the Blob…
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Hello to my fellow bloggers and to the 400+ followers who have taken the time to check out my blog, keep in touch, and support my dreams….
College Mate has published my article “Decoding the Bro Code: One Night Stand or Long Term Girlfriend?” for their March Monthly Writing Contest (please go to COLLEGE MATE to learn more).
I have spent a lot of time wishing that I had more self-control when I was in college…
Women love to declare our desire to live our lives the way we want to. We all say it, and even songs proclaim us to be women who are in control of our own lives…
“Who run the world? Girls!” -Beyoncé Knowles
“I am superwoman, yes I am” -Alicia Keys
“all the woman who independent, throw your hands up at me” – Destiny’s Child
“R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me” -Aretha Franklin
“I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive. I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise, to fly.” Nicki Minaj ft. Rihanna
I feel that this proclamation of control is a myth considering what we give in to with guys…
We need to have control over ourselves and who we allow in our beds.
I am not alone when I say that I have let some men have, not only my heart, but my body as well, even when there was nothing about him that deserved either.
Yeah, he had a flawless smile, with eyes that would literally make your panties drop, and he spoke the words that any girl who was a little heartbroken, lonely, in love with the attention (let’s be honest), and with a little alcohol in her system, would fall for.
We have the right to give in to our basic humanistic urges but, often times, we wake up the next morning feeling a lack of satisfaction, emptiness, and regret.
Self-control in intimate relationships, can alter the way you a treated, even in a friends with benefits relationships, and I realize this now.
Rule #14: HAVE SELF-CONTROL OVER WHO YOU LET IN YOUR BED! Do not have a sleep-over just to have some company!
When it comes to our sexuality, we as women have a lot of power that we are unaware of…
Often times, if a guy calls a girl to get some, he is more likely to be turned down, then if a girl calls a guy to get some…most guys would reply with a resounding YES!
And yet, the way we take care of our intimacy tends to be filled with our need to not be alone… (most females will never admit this).
I know that some will read this and think, men do this all the time, and we as women should be able to have a one-night-stand just like they can. This is true, but overtime, in most cases, we become attached because it is difficult not to fall for someone you are sleeping with! (real talk)
What Aretha Franklin, Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj and Alicia Keys sing/rap about, is to demand respect, have self-control, and know what we want as women.
In this male dominated society, men have the upper hand culturally. There has yet to be a female President, for example. Men like James Brown who sang, “this is a mans world…” knew that that men would not allow women to control society, due to the typical male ego. But, he then proclaimed “but it wouldn’t be nothing, nothing, without a woman or a girl,” because he also knew that women are the driven factor for men to have the control that they do.
Why else do men drive fast cars…?
Wear the best clothing…?
Get their hair cut, or even take a shower…? They do it all for women.
And we do the same thing as women. We are all trying to be noticed, accepted, and appreciated…to fit in.
But, men and women are not the same, we are different and our differences need to be viewed equally.
There are things that women can do, that men can’t… like, give birth to a child!
There are things that men can do, that women can’t… like, have a friends with benefits relationship overtime, without becoming emotionally attached!
So,take control of what is not easily controlled, but can be, which is ultimately protecting your heart, feelings, and emotions! Protect yourself as a woman, including the most intimate part of you!
Stop letting men say anything to you!
You are a queen and should be treated as such, but you have to treat yourself like a queen first.
Stop letting men take you to their beds before they show you your worth to them; most men will say and do anything to get in those jeans.
Demand chivalry, and you will get it.
Gaining true control over who we allow in our beds is a battle within the individual and easier said than done. It took years for me to understand and adapt into my new thought process.
My lack of understanding, my self-worth, and self-love, held me back in my relationships, but it shaped who I am and made me a better woman.
Please visit College 101 for Freshman Females to read the week-by-week list of each rules!
Enroll in the course today!
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- Calm Down! (Don’t tell me what to do…if I am not calm, its probably your fault.)
- You are too emotional! (Well at least I will live longer, because I know how to let my emotions go, instead of holding on to them!) Edit
- You don’t have to raise your voice! (Listen… if you think that this is loud…you have no idea how raised, my voice can be…)
- I don’t care! (Well, you really don’t want me to stop caring…keep it up…)
- What did you do to your hair? (If you don’t like my hair style, don’t say anything. It will change to something else in about a week, anyway.)
- Is it that time of the month, again? (What, are you keeping track? Listen, menstruation is not the reason for my attitude, you are an arse, that is the only reason for my attitude.)
- I think we should take a break. (We are either together, or broke up, no grey areas.)
- I want you to have my baby… (Don’t be mad 3 months later, when she is pregnant!)
- You are acting like a bitch! (All I hear is, BITCH, so if you want to take that road, be prepared for pot holes, sharp turns, and falling rock.)
- You sound just like your mother. (I am my own person. I sound like myself!)
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Why would anyone want to be LGBTQIAP+?
To be bullied in school?
To be exiled from their families?
To lose friendships?
So that they can know what a hate crime is?
To be judged?
COLLEGE 101 FOR FEMALES
“wanna come over and watch a movie?”
Rule #6: If he asks you to come over and watch a movie at 10PM or later, DO NOT GO!
I never thought I could be so gullible…
When he asked me to come over to watch a movie, I was so excited because I thought he had asked me out on a mini-date.
As defined by Merriam-Webster,
noun la·dy·hood \ˈlādēˌhu̇d\
Definition of ladyhood
the state of being a lady : quality or nature of a lady <the changing status of woman from ladyhood to the position of political citizen — Amy Loveman>
ladies <representative of the ladyhood of her day>
It is my goal to become the founder and creator of the LADYHOOD journey brand.
I believe that LADYHOOD is not biological; just because you were born female, this does not make you a lady…
The definition of LADYHOOD is an opinion, but it is a lifestyle; a representation of what is considered being a true lady as opposed to womanhood or being female.
As women, we know the barriers we face in this world, because we are female… for transgender women and girls, that challenge is even greater.
Breaking down barriers, supporting one another, and accepting our differences is what LADYHOOD is all about.
We realize that it is a constant goal that we seek to maintain.
We are individuals that are strong, liberal & conservative; confident, and leaders. We seek to empower all women to be the best version of themselves…
Being a lady is not about your hips, thighs, breasts, and booty. It is about your mind and creativity; your voice, standards, and the emotional burden that we carry as women in this world.
LADYHOOD is fighting against the stereotypical norms of womanhood in our society. We are determined to become more than just a woman (as stated by the great Aaliyah herself in the song “More Than a Woman”).
We can make money, advance in the work place, and be just as powerful as men without selling our bodies.
Join the journey to be the best version of yourself!
You are woman!
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University College of the World
College 101 for Freshman Females
Fall-Spring 2016-2017, LIFE 12345, 67890
Instructor: Ms. Pinkspen, MSW
Office Hours: M/T/W/Th/F/S/Sun 12:00a-11:59p
Welcome & Introduction:
Welcome to College 101 for Freshman Females. I am your instructor, Pinkspen. We will begin this course together where we will work together to prevent the most common mistakes that freshman females make when it comes to various forms of relationships on a college campus. This class is for freshman girls in college, “upper-classwomen” (Pinkspen), and high school girls who will someday graduate and be shipped off to a world that I wish someone prepared me for. Enroll in this course today!
College is a group of high-schoolers with no adult supervision.
College is playing pretend.
College is partying, with a little bit of class on the side.
College is a friends-with-benefits relationship.