Happy and Healthy: the story of a thick girl

I have a Pinterest board, I NEED TO WORK THE F’ OUT that I created over 5 years ago, when I was in college.

I had the want and the desire to be healthy, but I did not have drive to get my body to where I wanted to be. 

Continue reading “Happy and Healthy: the story of a thick girl”

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Depressed Love 

It breaks my heart that I cannot make you feel better…that I cannot take away the pain, hurt, and anger. 

The rollercoaster of emotions has embedded our hearts, for I have adopted your pain. 

When I speak, I feel like my words are wrong… sometimes it feels like my support does not help, instead it hurts.
You want to stay in; I want to go out

You want to be alone; I want to be around friends and family. 

You don’t want to talk about it; I want to give advice and help.
I am constantly questioning my actions to not upset you. It can be exhausting, but I do it because I love you.

I want you to see your worth, and know that you mean the world to me. 

I have been by your side and on your team from the beginning, and I don’t want that to change, but before we break one-another down, we need a change, or we will never be able to build each other back up.

Your words hurt sometimes, and even though I know you do not mean it, I can’t help but to feel like a target and take it personally. 

Not knowing what to say or what to do is an understatement, because sometimes, I have completely given up on trying… but, I always come back because I know you can get through this….

Forgive me for giving up in those moments….

-Pinkspen 💋

If you or a loved one are struggling with depression and want some information on how to support them and yourself, please read the article, Helping Someone with Depression: What You Can Do to Support a Friend or Loved One’s Recovery. I hope this article helps you find your self-worth, value, and gain perspective on the importance of self-care and self-love when dealing with depression. 

How to Maintain a Happy Long Distance Relationship

My article How to Maintain a Happy Long Distance Relationship has been published on College Mate by Alexis Chateau, PR !!!!

Maintaining a LRD can be difficult and college life does not make that any easier. Learning ways to keep the spark when you are miles away from each other is possible, despite the odds.

Please view the original post to support me and learn ways to maintain your relationship, long distance.

I love and appreciate all of you fellow bloggers and readers; hopefully you will provide me with your feedback on the original postLooking forward to talking to you about your LDRs. 

-Pinkspen

COLLEGE MATE

Relationships are tough; adding distance to the mix doesn’t make them any easier. It’s hard enough to trust the partner you live with. Imagine trusting the one who lives a world away.

Because of this, some may say that long distance relationships don’t work. But the truth is, all relationships take effort. Some just take a little more than others.

Are you dating someone who is already in college? Is your significant other not going to college, but you are? Are you and your high school sweetheart going to different colleges?

If so, here are four ways to maintain a happy relationship while you’re apart.

Communication is Key

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It’s not always easy to keep up with everything that goes on in each other’s lives, but making the time to talk without distraction is an important part of making it work.

This doesn’t have to mean talking on the phone multiple times…

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Why I prefer to take the stairs

Healthy wellness is a journey…. it is not a sprint, it is a marathon. In the past, I have jumped into full work out plans and diets; I was unsuccessful. 

For some, jumping into a workout may be beneficial, but for me it never helped me change my lifestyle. Eventually, I gave up, binged, and had to start all over again in my weight loss journey.

Making small steps towards your weight loss journey can help you focus on the little things and eventually, the little things become habitual.

I re-blogged this post because little things like taking the stairs are small steps toward a Happy and Healthy life.

  • Love your body as it is now.
  • Make small changes in your unhealthy habits. 
  • Have a Happy and Healthy journey to wellness by changing the way you think about weight loss. 

-Pinkspen

The Lean, Mean, Sexy Machine

As a normal woman with a full-time deskbound job, office hours are very sedentary. Sitting for hours compresses our spines, leading to backaches and shoulder stiffness. In order to avoid this, it’s good to get up and stretch. I also like adding a little movement by taking the stairs instead of the elevator whenever I need to go upstairs.

Besides giving us the opportunity to lengthen our spines, climbing stairs is widely touted as a good cardiovascular activity. Google the benefits and you’ll find pages and pages of articles! Since the office elevators move like turtles anyway, I can get where I want more quickly by taking the stairs.

Stair climbing and power walking were the first exercises I started with during this health journey. Today, I still do both to satisfy my need to move and stay active. I encourage friends and relatives to do them since they don’t…

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Thin vs. Fat BIAS

I am in the process of receiving my Strengths-Based Family Workers (SFW) Credential and was asked to, “Identify a bias you have,” for an assignment.

Racial biases are embedded in most of us since childhood. I aware of this racial bias, and it is easy to think more positively of your own racial group, than for another. Outside of race, it was difficult for me to think of any biases I had…

Continue reading “Thin vs. Fat BIAS”

10 things men should never say to women

  1. Calm Down! (Don’t tell me what to do…if I am not calm, its probably your fault.) 
  2. You are too emotional. (Well at least I will live longer, because I know how to let my emotions go, instead of holding on to them!)  
  3. You don’t have to raise your voice! (Listen… if you think that this is loud…you have no idea how raised, my voice can be…)  
  4. I don’t care. (Well, you really don’t want me to stop caring…keep it up…)
  5. What did you do to your hair? (If you don’t like my hair style, don’t say anything. It will change to something else in about a week, anyway.)  
  6. Is it that time of the month, again? (What, are you keeping track? Listen, menstruation is not the reason for my attitude, you are an arse, that is the only reason for my attitude.)
  7. I think we should take a break. (We are either together, or broke up, no grey areas.) 
  8. I want you to have my baby… (Don’t be mad 3 months later, when she is pregnant!) 
  9. You are acting like a bitch! (All I hear is, BITCH, so if you want to take that road, be prepared for pot holes, sharp turns, and falling rock.) 
  10. You sound just like your mother. (I am my own person. I sound like myself!) 

-Pinkspen

 

via Daily Prompt: Ten

 

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Relationship Quotes

Every now and then, I think about my relationship and get discouraged. As beautiful as they are, relationships take patience, hard work, and ultimate trust in someone. You have to trust that they will hold your heart, have your best interest at heart, and protect your heart at all times.

Sometimes, you need to be reminded of what relationships bring to your life. I chose some love quotes to help myself to remember why I fell in love with my boyfriend in the first place, and as a girlfriend and future wife, I wanted to remind myself that true love, is one of the strongest bonds you can have with an individual. It is so important not to lose sight of the person you fell in love with, because as time goes on, you sometimes forget the reasons you fell for them in the first place… Life can get in the way, peoples opinion of your relationship can definitely get in the way, and we often times take the person we love for granted.

One of my favorite quotes, “If ever two were one, then surely we…” (Anne Bradstreet, 1612–1672). 

I have always left the quote incomplete when I write it, because it makes you think… you have to fill in the blank for yourself to determine the content. I think this quote is so powerful, and for me, it means that he and I are one, only because we are together….without him, I would feel incomplete…lost… And being together, although difficult at times, makes me feel like I am the complete essence of everything I wanted to be because he makes me better….

-Pinkspen

 

I hope these quotes make you appreciate your relationship and remind you, just how much, that certain someone means to you…

 

 

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Image source: Google 

Fathers & their Daughters…

In today’s society, it seems the rates of single parent homes, where the female is the head of the household is becoming more common.

“According to U.S. Census Bureau,3 out of about 12 million single parent families in 2014, more than 80% were headed by single mothers.” (The Single Mother’s Guide)

There can be negative outcomes of children being raised in a home without a father present. Concerns like early involvement in crime, addiction and substance usage, and sexual exploration; higher rates of living in poverty, promiscuity, teen pregnancy, and having low self-esteem may all have some connection to high rates of youth growing up without a father.

Although, this statistic is realistically devastating, it puts a lot of pressure on individuals who grew up in two parent homes, whether married or not, to live up to a certain standard. Even if your father is present, popular culture has created a negative influence on young girls that can be out of a fathers control! 

I grew up in a Christian home, with two parents that were married prior to having any children. I was one of few of my friends who actually had their father living with them in their home.

Like any teenager, I made many mistakes when it came to relationships with boys and I struggled with my self-esteem.

I was raised to wait to have sex until I was married… My parents taught me that boys only want one thing, and of course I knew what my parents meant by that, but I still fell short.

What my parents did not share was how good it felt to get attention from males and how to recognize their tactics in order to not fall for lines like, “you wanna come over and watch a movie?” Of course the movie is never even put into the DVD player, and as females, we are left feeling even lonelier than we did prior to the invitation.

I went from being a virgin up until age 17, to going to college at 18 and being shoved into a world of sex, drugs, and alcohol. I had no idea how to factor in maintaining being “the lady” that my parents raised me and my siblings to be.

College campuses are filled with multiple individuals who participate in one night stands, hook-ups, multiple partners, and the occasional relationship.

Those individuals who are in committed relationships or have exes, are then forced to be located on one campus that you can’t escape from for at least 2-5 years, which can cause a series of problems.

Having a father in the home is not enough to prevent a young girl, age 17-18 from being placed in these compromising situations, but active communication, may help prevent common mistakes girls make as they get older. 

This concern, I feel, is lacking from fathers communication with their daughter’s in todays society.

I am a blessed woman to say that I grew up with a father who was always there for me and gave me life lessons when I asked for his help in certain situations in my life.

It is not always easy for a girl to go to her father for advice or questions. As females, it seems easier for us to connect with our mothers as we get older because we have a similar concern, boys and men.

This connection can sometimes cause the father to feel left out or unneeded, but in reality, when a girl becomes a teenager or a young woman, this is when she needs her father to step up and invade her space the most. 

Often times than not, a daughter will not know how to come to you as her father, but when it comes to her relationships with young men, she needs her fathers advice more than her mothers or her friends, who she will more than likely speak to first.

I am not a father, but as a new mother of a little lady, who is in a relationship with her child’s father, but not married, I desire for my daughter to have a relationship with her dad where she feels comfortable to talk to him about anything.

I want him to invade her space, even when she is in her teenage years by bombarding her with questions and embarrassing her with hugs and kisses in public so every man will know that she is loved and needs no man!

This may not prevent her from making some of the same mistakes that I made, but I feel it may lower the likelihood.

-Pinkspen

 

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