Words to Live by

…words we all should learn to live by:

Continue reading “Words to Live by”

Advertisements

No. Cut Him Off.

Every woman deserves to feel wanted. If you do not fee wanted, then you are not. If you doubt that he loves you, he probably doesn’t. As the author stated so plainly “Love is not complicated.”

Check out more from Alice in Wonderlust on dating and relationships. 

Alice In Wonderlust | UK Dating Blog

So you match with this guy on Tinder. His chat is pretty decent, so you meet up for a drink. Instant connection. You go home with butterflies in your stomach. You fall into a pattern of seeing each other once of twice a week. It’s all going well. It’s like you’re going out, but neither of you has brought up “what you are” yet. After 2 months, you raise the question. He says he’s not really sure yet, and needs more time to decide. So you give him time. After 3 months, you raise the question again. He says he’s still not sure. You start to feel a little irked. I mean, it’s been 3 months. You’re sure. So why isn’t he? You wonder whether you should just sit out. Maybe 3 months is too soon. Maybe after 4, he’ll realize how great you are and make it official. Or…

View original post 599 more words

Decoding the Bro Code: One Night Stand or Long-term Girlfriend?

I am overjoyed about COLLEGE MATE publishing my article for their March Monthly Writing Contest.

Please check out my article, Like, Share, Comment, Re-blog!!!!!
I seek to uplift, empower, and challenge women to be the best versions of themselves. 

College life is difficult for relationships and helping college freshman females to navigate through the differences between a FWB or a real intimate relationship, is my goal!

These are the signs to look out for if a guy just wants you as a Friend With Benefits…

COLLEGE MATE

I started college with big expectations of college guys. Most of those expectations were based on what I knew about high school boys; and college boys were supposed to be even better! I fully expected to find my college sweetheart, and live “happily ever after”.

Instead, what I found was that most college guys had one goal: to get you in bed. They would use every pick-up line, and give every compliment, just to trick you into  dropping by their dorm room to “watch a movie.” 

I found myself repeating this cycle until one day, I had to face the truth. I cried as I looked at myself in the mirror, and realized I was still single and lonely. I wanted a boyfriend, not casual sex.

Ladies, don’t be fooled, as I was. As freshman females, you are the fresh meat on a college campus.

College guys love to check out the new…

View original post 1,239 more words

Have Control Over who you let in your Bed!

I have spent a lot of time wishing that I had more self-control when I was in college…

Women love to declare our desire to live our lives the way we want to. We all say it, and even songs proclaim us to be women who are in control of our own lives…

“Who run the world? Girls!” -Beyoncé Knowles

“I am superwoman, yes I am” -Alicia Keys

“all the woman who independent, throw your hands up at me” – Destiny’s Child

“R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me” -Aretha Franklin

“I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive. I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise, to fly.”  Nicki Minaj ft. Rihanna

I feel that this proclamation of control is a myth  considering what we give in to with guys…

We need to have control over ourselves and who we allow in our beds.

I am not alone when I say that I have let some men have, not only my heart, but my body as well, even when there was nothing about him that deserved either.

Yeah, he had a flawless smile, with eyes that would literally make your panties drop, and he spoke the words that any girl who was a little heartbroken, lonely, in love with the attention (let’s be honest), and with a little alcohol in her system, would fall for.

We have the right to give in to our basic humanistic urges but, often times, we wake up the next morning feeling a lack of satisfaction, emptiness, and regret.

Self-control in intimate relationships, can alter the way you a treated, even in a friends with benefits relationships, and I realize this now.

Rule #14: HAVE SELF-CONTROL OVER WHO YOU LET IN YOUR BED! Do not have a sleep-over just to have some company!

When it comes to our sexuality, we as women have a lot of power that we are unaware of…

Often times, if a guy calls a girl to get some, he is more likely to be turned down, then if a girl calls a guy to get some…most guys would reply with a resounding YES!

And yet, the way we take care of our intimacy tends to be filled with our need to not be alone… (most females will never admit this).

I know that some will read this and think, men do this all the time, and we as women should be able to have a one-night-stand just like they can. This is true, but overtime, in most cases, we become attached because it is difficult not to fall for someone you are sleeping with! (real talk)

What Aretha Franklin, Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj and Alicia Keys sing/rap about, is to demand respect, have self-control, and know what we want as women.

In this male dominated society, men have the upper hand culturally. There has yet to be a female President, for example. Men like James Brown who sang, “this is a mans world…” knew that that men would not allow women to control society, due to the typical male ego. But, he then proclaimed “but it wouldn’t be nothing, nothing, without a woman or a girl,” because he also knew that women are the driven factor for men to have the control that they do.

Why else do men drive fast cars…?

Wear the best clothing…?

Get their hair cut, or even take a shower…? They do it all for women.

And we do the same thing as women. We are all trying to be noticed, accepted, and appreciated…to fit in.

 

But, men and women are not the same, we are different and our differences need to be viewed equally.

There are things that women can do, that men can’t… like, give birth to a child!

There are things that men can do, that women can’t… like, have a friends with benefits relationship overtime, without becoming emotionally attached!

 

So,take control of what is not easily controlled, but can be, which is ultimately protecting your heart, feelings, and emotions! Protect yourself as a woman, including the most intimate part of you!

Stop letting men say anything to you!

You are a queen and should be treated as such, but you have to treat yourself like a queen first.

Stop letting men take you to their beds before they show you your worth to them; most men will say and do anything to get in those jeans.

Demand chivalry, and you will get it.

Gaining true control over who we allow in our beds is a battle within the individual and easier said than done. It took years for me to understand and adapt into my new thought process.

My lack of understanding, my self-worth, and self-love, held me back in my relationships, but it shaped who I am and made me a better woman.

-Pinkspen

Please visit College 101 for Freshman Females to read the week-by-week list of each rules!

Enroll in the course today!


****************************

Featured Image Source: StockSnap.io

Lies that side-chicks will hear today…

You see, what had happened was…

My phone broke, was lost, or dead.

I didn’t have any reception.

My car wouldn’t start…

I had to work overtime.

…the way my account is set up… (Kevin Hart voice)

I got stuck in a ditch!

…I had to go to the hospital!

I was planning to celebrate with you this weekend…

My friend got arrested, so I had to bail him out of jail!

I have the stomach flu.

I twisted my ankle.

My dog died.

When I got home from work I was so tired, I fell asleep..

I decided to spend Valentines Day with my mom.

1135982

If you heard any of these excuses for not be showered with love on Valentine’s Day, you might be a side-chick!

88d649996525e5ab496c67fcf10abacf.jpg

Never play second best to any other woman. You deserve to be a priority, not an option! A man should shower you with love daily, but at least, on Valentine’s Day!

tumblr_mfw3ukxwvn1r3as8fo1_500

-Pinkspen

 ****************************

Featured Image Source: StockSnap.io

Images from Google

Thin vs. Fat BIAS

I am in the process of receiving my Strengths-Based Family Workers (SFW) Credential and was asked to, “Identify a bias you have,” for an assignment.

Racial biases are embedded in most of us since childhood. I aware of this racial bias, and it is easy to think more positively of your own racial group, than for another. Outside of race, it was difficult for me to think of any biases I had…

Continue reading “Thin vs. Fat BIAS”