We all have something to heal over, right? I am healing over heartbreak, loss, and a low self-worth. I experienced online bullying for the first time on Twitter, and it made me feel alone. I had made choices that were not in alignment with my worth. I was beating myself for every choice that haunted me, for my body, and many other things that I could not control. Being called a “ho”, being body-shamed, or bullied for your culture, race, religion, gender or sexual preference by individuals who are anti-femme, bigots, and/or homophobic or transphobic is common. This is why The Heart Advocate created, Healing Over Everything.
H.O.E. is a safe-space for all, including transgender and non-binary individuals (she/he/they), ages 18+. We are here for high school seniors, college kids, creatives and entrepreneurs; whether you are single, dating, married or a parent, this group is for you. We do not discriminate against race, ethnicity, sexuality, sexual preference, religious beliefs, socioeconomic status, or gender.
We are intersectional and we are healing over bullying, toxic relationships, trauma, loss, abuse, loneliness, divorce, bigotry and racism, mental health concerns and our every day life experiences in a white supremist and male dominated society; and we are doing it together.
With over 1.4K members, Healing Over Everything is making it’s mark as one of the most inclusive groups on Facebook. Every week the group focuses on a specific topic related to self-love/self-worth, mental health, or healing, and each day there is a prompt question for group members to respond to and engage in raw and vulnerable communication. Members use this space to vent, share, give advice and support one another. The H.O.E. team of encourage transparency, a strong focus on mental health + wellness, and mindfulness in this space. We support, empower, connect, and challenge one another in this space in hopes that we all grow stronger in our singleness, our relationships, our marriages, our motherhood and as a women + femme.
why join h.o.e.?
You may be wondering, how did I allow myself to stay in this toxic relationship for so long? Why am I still struggling to love my body? Why do I let people walk all over me? How will I ever have healthy relationships in my life? Is there something wrong with me? We have all asked some version of these questions in our journey and the answer is a lack of self-love.
Don’t beat yourself up, the reality is we are taught how to take care of others, not necessarily how to take care of ourselves. We are taught how to be kind to others, but not ourselves. Self-love is not always taught in our homes, schools or religious spaces, and self-love can feel uncomfortable because of it. If you are breaking generational curses, normalizing your mental health, body, and beauty; if you are choosing to defy perfection, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Some other amazing things we do weekly are #nomakeupmondays where everyone posts a selfie wearing no makeup (to learn more about this challenge, read #nomakeupmondays Challenge). Monthly goals and mental health check-in’s and monthly H.O.E. Talk (Group Lives), are also a part of joining this safe-space of bad ass individuals.
If you are struggling with maintaining healthy relationships, have concerns with family + friends, struggling in your marriage or as a parent; if you need support with grief or loss, during or after a divorce or a bad breakup; if you are struggling with accepting your body or trusting your heart in making decisions this space is here for your heart.
With over 1K members, Healing Over Everything is making its mark as a group that is “the only reason I am on Facebook.” – Gloria Madelyn (Member).
How to Join H.O.E.?
So, what are you healing over? No shame. No judgement, No fear. We are a safe-space and we are waiting for you. To join, click the button below and you will be directed to Healing Over Everything. Make sure to answer the safety questions for the Administration + Moderator team to review and we will gladly add you in the group.
h.o.e. member reviews:
Every time I read these beautiful words from our members, I am reminded of why safe-spaces are so important. Check out the stories from some of the members of H.O.E. and how this virtual support group has helped them in their journey towards self-love, building self-worth, coping with mental health, and of course, Healing Over Everything™:
This group has given me a healthy open and encouraging space to learn, grow, share and heal. This last year has tested and challenged me and I’m not sure I could come thru as easily, informed and empowered with out this group and our Admin/Moderator team. There are things that I wrestle with feelings, emotions and dilemmas or just stress that I face that I’m not always comfortable sharing with friends or family and this group allows me people that have no skin in the game so to speak or no personal investment and can give me objective and impartial feedback or new ways to see it or new tools to tackle it. This space is far less judgmental and then there is sex week, I can share things, and ask questions that I would never in any other space.-Sara Nevels (Admin since 2017)
I find the H.O.E. Truth is an INSPIRING space. It has been a fountain of empowering resources with the group Lives, has made me ponder things I never considered and has opened my eyes to the struggles of other women, some of which I know intimately and some that I do not. This has helped me empathize with the vast sisterhood of women and femmes and I am ever grateful for this space. –-Yesenia Berrios aka Myxxfly (member since 2018)
Honestly, this period of my 20s has been pretty challenging for, but being in this group lets me know I’m not alone in my struggles. Everything from mental health to dating + relationships, these ladies are helping me to sort out my life and make the decisions necessary for me to be my best self. It’s the best feeling to know I have a team of ladies who are always looking out for my best interests in a genuine way! Additionally, these ladies helped me get through grad school. ( I recently graduated 2018). There were times I wanted to give up and quit my program because I was exhausted, stressed, anxious and quite frankly…depressed. But seeing the tenacity of these women every day kept me pushing and I’m so glad I stayed the course.-Ce’Asia Thorpe (member since 2017)
This group gives me a place I can be open freely with support n advise from powerhouse women who know what it feels like and are stronger from it we got some real survivors in here and a wealth of knowledge n positive feed back makes me feel okay to be girly n smile n share.-Prudy Myers (member since 2018)
The H.O.E Truth has helped me in so many ways! I once thought it was unacceptable to not be unhappy in my marriage after how I was treated and even after my husband made me feel less than what he should have even til yesterday I still had to deal with his disrespectful ways…I learned that it is okay to claim my Queen and act like I know I have some sense and do something difficult but to make the right decision…also we all see life differently and this group has recently taught me that it is okay to be part of women empowerment even when you honestly may not feel like it because you are having a shitty day so definitely showing up for yourself and the people who love you in the hardest times.-Dani Ikasha Jones (Moderator since 2019)
To me this group is a safe haven. I can be and feel and say exactly as I feel without fear or judgement and I truly feel I can come here and gain strength, love, and empowerment from every single one of the women who contribute to this page. Even when I’m not always posting or being active here I am watching and I learn something new every day. This group has helped me grow within myself and helped me see a lot of things I may not have been able to on my own. I love this group for all that it is because not only is it providing a safe place it’s also providing a home and a family when we may need it most. Women need go stick together and this group I feel is all that girl power is about.-Paige Moody (member since 2019)
When I first got invited to this group, my perspective was on defense mode. I thought someone was calling me a Hoe and it was associated with everything I had been trying to get away from. But I looked at the title again and it said Healing Over Everything. I accepted the request and have grown in every aspect of my personal life ever since. Often we feel like we have to be perfect and especially for someone like me that is in ministry. We live under a microscope and are held to the highest of high standards. The H.O.E. Truth has allowed me to be free from such judgments and be completely honest on somethings I have had to deal with internally. I have found a sense of community that I didn’t have before and even learned how to view others lifestyles and opinions without being biased. Even though there are topics or discussions I may not participate in or like, I am able to take these things before God privately and pray for them instead of being judgmental. I love the encouragement and inspiration of how to be at peace with who you are and who you’re created to be. For this I am grateful to be a member of the H.O.E. Truth.-Sacoiya Renee Yarbrough (member since 2018)
This group has honestly broadened my perspective on what it really means to LOVE yourself. Like many others, I have always been my biggest critic and I would would not always treat MYSELF the way that I should. This group inspires me to be my BEST me … and I am so thankful for that. You ladies are everything and more…and that’s nothing but the H.O.E truth!!-Nikita Turner (Moderator since 2018)
There is so much to say what this group has done for me. It literally has opened my eyes to so much! It has helped me grow to love myself and not to be hard on myself while still in the growing/loving process of MYSELF.. This group has allowed me to express my true emotions on things I’d never talk to anyone about. I know that I can always come to this page and read something new & also learn something new. I am always hard on myself especially physical appearance and this group of women has given me that reassurance that it’s okay to love the skin that I am in. If I am ever thinking bad about myself I come to this page to remind myself that to truly love thy self you must accept yourself. Even with going through my darkest time of my miscarriage I came here and opened up because of how open everyone is and everyone is always so kind and honest and it made that healing process so much easier. This group has helped in so many ways to be a better me & I am so thankful for Ta’lor Pinkston for starting this group and for allowing me to be apart of it. –-Alexis Carter (member since 2018)
This group is a safe place where I am shown it’s okay to love myself! I love this group the posts the videos they all are so positive and upbeat. I also love the way most of you all come out of your shell and are so body positive it gives me strength to love my body as well! –-Jeni Emery (member since 2018)
For me this group and reading all the information and previous post from before my joining … I no longer feel alone. I have suffered for years in silence and being ashamed of my past mistakes and present flaws. However seeing others grow and opening up and sharing has shown me I am not alone. I am truly embracing my self love journey and it’s been amazing getting to know each and every one of you.-Tia Blackwell (RWG beautiful Tia – we miss you)
This group means so much to me. I’m so grateful to be a part of it. When Ta’lor Pinkston first started, I could have sworn I wasn’t going to get involved lol and now I’m head admin! A year ago, I was in a very bad place and I thought my life was going no where. Now, I am doing things I never thought I would and chasing dreams I thought would only stay dreams. What this group has done is molded me into the person I’ve always wanted to be: proud, confident, brave, determined, motivated ….. I really can’t believe how much I’ve changed. The most beneficial thing I’ve learned here, though, is that getting out of my comfort zone is the key to succeeding in anything that I do. I was able to come to this group and practice that and I am still practicing lol but to come as far as I have truly amazes me. This group is so important. Women need to build each other up and connect with each other so we know we aren’t alone. What this group means to me is everything, because it literally had a part in saving my life. For that I am so thankful to y’all for sharing and being active. It means so much to me.-Jasmine Taylor (Admin since 2017)
I’m so thankful to be a part of this group! This group of ladies encouraging other ladies to love themselves no matter what is so inspiring to me. This group of women have offered me a safe space to share my feelings(even just with myself) about my love life, sex life, health life, mom life, and my struggle of loving my body for who she is and the amazing things she has done. I have learned that self love is more than just a bubble bath, and that its not selfish to take care of yourself first. I learned that a group of women on a journey to self love can all come together in a positive space and support each other. –-Amanda DeMeo (member since 2018)
I am very happy to be a part of a group with amazing energy and beautiful people. You don’t have many groups like this … most groups people invite me to are groups with women shaking their ass or showing their bodies. This group is just full of positive and real life things that women go through. I appreciate Ta’lor Pinkston for creating this group and providing a safe place to discuss things that can help or nurture us. You and the team of admins do a great job of this! I appreciate the group because it has taught me about self love and how it is so much deeper than what I thought! Keep inspiring … keep motivating … keep elevating.-Cathryn Calhoun (member since 2018)