4 Musts in Self-trust

Do you trust yourself? Most will say, “absolutely,”  but how do you know if you truly value, listen, and follow through with what your heart and soul desires?

For me, I realized that I didn’t trust myself when I found myself repeatedly praying for the same things to manifest and seeing no change or growth. Self-trust is one of ten branches of self-love (Path of Self-love) and when it came to the relationships in my life, I realized that I did not trust my strength and inner-wisdom to let go of toxic relationships.

Photographer: Elise Michaux

Instead of listening to my heart to receive guidance on what I had prayed for in my relationships, I ignored my desires because it was easier to stay inside my dysfunctional comfort zone, than to shake shit up. You have to ask yourself, do you trust yourself enough to breakup with him, to stop investing your heart in a friend who is jealous of you, or to stop visiting your parent who body-shames you?

What Self-trust Is Not …

Self-trust is not people pleasing. If we spend our time focusing only on the opinions of others instead of reaching inside of our own hearts, looking to the divine to determine our worth, we will neglect ourselves. Ignoring our feelings in relationship is one of the biggest mistakes we make as women. We are constantly seeking approval and focusing on pleasing everyone else and not pleasing ourselves.

Photographer: Elise Michaux

Prioritizing self-trust is not always going to please everyone around you.

What Self-trust Is …

Self-trust is making the choice to listen and then to follow through with the guidance that comes from your heart. Listening to your intuition or your inner voice will confirm that you know what you desire, you know what is fair and true, and that you accept that and actually live it out, even if it hurts those around you. (Path of Self-love)

Self-trust is just one piece of the self-love puzzle and it often times requires us to make difficult decisions in our relationships that may hurt someone’s feelings, but when you fully trust yourself, you will not feel unashamed for following through on what you know is valid.

Photographer: Elise Michaux

Here are three more simplistic explanations of what self-trust is:

  • Self-trust is doing what you know is the right thing to do.
  • Self-trust is listening to your inner voice.
  • Self-trust is unapologetically doing what your heart tells you.

If you want to begin trusting yourself, listening to your heart, and making your desires a priority, here are four ways you can make self-trust a must in relationships:

1. Check in With Yourself

Checking in with yourself can take many different formations. By taking the time each day to ask yourself what you need in this moment, you are taking care of yourself, and also giving yourself the opportunity to listen to yourself. When we listen to ourselves, we are listening to what we desire. Self-trust involves action, so we must take the time to listen and then make the commitment to execute and do what our intuition tells us.

(to learn more about how to “check in” with yourself, see my blog post FOMO: Start ‘Checking In’ With Yourself)

2. Pay Attention to How You Feel

Our feelings are valid and we must begin listening to ourselves when we are in company and pay attention to how we feel. Sometimes it is the closest people to us that can be the most toxic for us and we have to trust the feelings we have when we are with our family members, friends, co-workers, etc, in order to trust ourselves enough to remove those individuals who do not pour into our lives in a positive way.

You are not a bad person for removing people from your life who are not in alignment with your heart and souls desire for a relationship.

3. Be Your Advocate

I social media motivators and influencers empowering others by saying “Don’t dim your light.” We have to ask ourselves if we are holding ourselves back for fear of outshining  others? When we do not trust ourselves we no longer are the advocate for are authentic self. We allow toxic relationships into our spaces and we settle for less than in relationship.

Advocate for your heart by trusting it enough to do what it tells you.

4. Be Unapologetic

This idea of being unapologetic is not an excuse to be cruel, but it is an opportunity to not feel ashamed for removing toxic people from your life. Feeling bad that a relationship has ended is not the same thing as being unapologetic for ending it. Of course it can hurt when a someone who once filled a place in your heart is no longer able to occupy that space, but sometimes we hold on to relationships when the reality is the individual we are attached to is the most harmful thing to our self-love.

Being unapologetic is doing is necessary to have peace in your self-love journey, so do not apologize for sorting our the clutter.


Self-love Affirmation of the Day

I will trust myself enough to remove those from my life who do not love and support me because I deserve fulfilling relationships.

 

 

 

2018 ©LADYHOOD journey, LLC

Photographer: Elise Michaux, co-founder of Exposure Pittsburgh

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