Why Are You Single?

Recently someone asked me, why are you single? Although I have been asked this question before, this time I immediately became irritated. I don’t believe that anyone means any harm when asking this question, but this time hearing it made me feel exposed. One of my deepest fears is loneliness, and it has been something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember. In the past, being single made me feel like there was something wrong with me, but guess what? There is nothing wrong with being single!

Singleness is not a curse.

Ta’lor Pinkston/Mansions on Fifth/Pittsburgh, PA

Self-love has taught me the value of self-reflection and why it matters in healing from past relationships and moving forward. Self-reflection is an active form of self-care (one aspect of self-love) and has allowed me to think back on my past choices and see how I got to be a single-mother and why it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

I am single for all the right reasons.

Being ashamed of being single is no more. I am prioritizing my damn self by embracing this time in my life and seeing it as an opportunity. I am accepting my imperfect and seeking growth within myself so that one day, I will attract a healthy relationship and not another toxic one. So here it is, here are all the reasons that I am single, so everyone can stop asking:

I am single because I was afraid of being alone.

I am single because I didn’t listen to God the fourth time.

I am single because I was sick of being the only one fighting for my relationship.

I am single because I ignored every red flag.

I am single because now I know that my heart matters more.

I am single because I deserve to be trusted, valued and appreciated.

I am single because I needed more than a good roommate.

I am single because I know my worth.

I am single because I refuse to fill my bed with a body just to have company.

I am single because I stopped lying to myself about being happy in my relationship.

I am single because no man is worth being abused.

I am single because I am not someones verbal punching bag.

I am single because I am listening to my heart.

I am single because I want to make my daughter proud.

I am single because I choose peace.

I am single because I stopped settling.

I am single because I am a badass mother who is finally showing up for herself.

2018 © LADYHOOD journey, LLC

Photographer credit: Erin Panosian

5 thoughts on “Why Are You Single?

  1. Yes ma’am! There is nothing wrong with being single. I’m enjoying this time to myself, because when that man does come around, I’ll be ready. Great post!

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