How many times a day do you ask the people who you love and associate with, how is your day?, what is going on?, and my favorite, how are you beautiful? or my favorite one, what’s up beautiful?
We are taught to be polite and speak to everyone when we enter a room. We are taught how to speak when spoken to. We are taught how to pray and talk to God. We are taught how to conduct small talk and have conversation with random strangers. We have even been given the tools to ask ‘what’s up’ without actually wanting to know what is up.
With all these lessons in communication, how is it that we are not being taught how to talk to ourselves and how to check in with ourselves?
The Path of Self-love is constantly showing me that I need to prioritize myself just like I prioritize my family, friends, and the women and girls I work with. I made the commitment to myself over three years ago to show up for myself every single day, and every single day, I am learning something new about me. Of course every day does not look similar nor are they always blissful, but now I am able to show up for myself by handling tough situations in a healthier way.
Working with women and girls has shown me that when one woman shows up for herself, the other women around her begin to do the same.
Self-love is a journey, not a destination, so we must make the commitment to our hearts everyday to be more accepting, compassionate, and mindful of our heart and souls desire. In order to be more accepting, compassionate, and mindful, we must check in with ourselves.
Here are some simple ways that I use to help me to check in with myself on a daily basis:
Have A Daily Ritual
One of the best ways to check in with yourself is to begin your day asking yourself what you desire today. What do you desire in this moment? What does your heart desire? What does your body desire? What does your soul desire?
This is a mindful exercise that you can do while brushing your teeth or taking a shower, ask yourself “what do I desire today?” (Path of Self-love, Christine Arylo), and spend the day trying to give yourself just that.
- If you need peace – surround yourself with people who make you feel relaxed or call off work today
- If you need joy – call the friend that makes you laugh the hardest
- If you need rest – take your ass to sleep
Positive Vibes or Negative Vibes?
Throughout my day, I pay attention to my negative and positive vibes. If I am feeling uncomfortable, worried, insecure, or judged, I look at who and what is around me. This is really powerful with loved ones and in the workplace.
People who are consistently in your space are impact your mood, behaviors, and feelings … Be aware of the energy around you.
If someone is consistently impacting my mood in a negative way I must make the commitment to trust myself and listen to what my heart and soul desires when it comes to this type of relationship. This is something I realized in working with women, that we explore this reality with strangers but we ignore it when its our boyfriend, sister, mother, spouse or best friend.
For example, if you notice that you feel the most anxious when your husband is walking in the door or that is an emotional check-in that could be guiding you to your heart and soul desire to be in an emotionally healthy marriage.
Be On Your Calendar
It may seem silly but I actually write my name down in my planner for my self-pleasure, self-care, and my me-time. As a single-mom with a toddler, a biz, creating content (blog posts, social media content, my story, pictures, graphics, etc.),and my job, I plan as much as I can but there is a good portion of my life day-to-day, that is spontaneous.
In all the craziness, I do my best to plan a moment at least two times a week where I can do something to check in with my mind, body, and/or soul. It may not always be a solid 30 minutes, but even if it’s meditating for 5 minutes; do something to make yourself a priority. Whether it’s taking a bath or exercising, meditation, or attending new events around your city, I deserve to be written on my planner with the rest of my to-do list.
How often do you touch your body? This is not sexual. People love to be touched by others but often times we are uncomfortable touching our bodies in sexual and non-sexual ways. For the last year, I have been making time to touch, caress, and massage my body when I am doing regular things like taking a shower or doing yoga.
My face. My neck. My legs. My arms. My belly. For me it brings an immediate relaxation in my body, helps relieve some tension and helps me value my sensuality as a woman.
Touching my body allows me to honor the feminine energy inside of me and feel gratitude for my body.
I also like to meditate with my hand on my heart. I adapted this into my own lifestyle throughout my own self-love journey.