How to be Single and Self-love Valentines Day

Valentines Day sucks when your single. Grocery stores, boutiques, even gas stations are filled with hearts, chocolate, and flowers. The color red is everywhere and commercials tell you what to buy your bae for February 14th. Social media almost forces you to compare yourself to every couple posting #relationshipgoals and it can feel overwhelming and isolating if you are not dating or in a relationship. Yes, it can be tough being single on Valentines Day, but it doesn’t have to suck.

love, not romance …

I have been single for almost 3 years and I still have moments when I battle those thoughts of what life could be if I would have made different choices in my relationships. Would I be married? Would I have a partner? Would I have a thriving dating life? In those moments, I remind myself that singleness was my choice and I am single for all the right reasons.

Photo Credit: Elise Michaux [Pittsburgh, PA]

Being single on Valentines Day has taught me to find ways to embrace the love inside of me and around me instead of sitting in my house, listening to love songs, crying, and beating myself up emotionally. Being in a romantic relationship is not the only way that you can celebrate love.

Valentines Day is not about romance, it’s about love.

Learning and embracing this has changed my outlook on Valentines Day. Love comes in many forms Divine Love, Sisterhood/Brotherhood Love, Community Love, Beloved Love, and of course, Self-love (adapted from Path of Self-love). If you focus on love instead of romance, I guarantee you will have a more fulfilling Valentines Day. Let’s talk about self-love, community love, and sisterhood/brotherhood love this Valentines Day; here are 5 ways you can focus on love instead of romance this Valentines Day:

1. Buy Your Own Damn Flowers

One aspect of self-love is self-pleasure, intentionally finding the fun, joy, and pleasures of life. Self-pleasure is not about overindulgence, but it is about pleasing and celebrating self intentionally. I love flower shops and buying myself flowers and plants makes me feel at peace. They bring positive vibes, energy and just make me feel good. If you are not into flowers, order chocolate covered strawberries from Shari’s Berries, or try a variety of treats with Graze. Buy yourself something that will make your heart smile.

Always remember to shop small and local and check out the stores that are community. Get some delectable treats and show yourself some deliciousness this V Day.

2. Write Yourself a Love Letter

I always loved getting love notes as a kid. I love writing in my journal and I have really become accustom to writing myself letters. Writing yourself a letter about how much you love yourself, are proud of yourself for, and what you are grateful for will not only make you feel good, it will reveal your worth to you.

3. Plan a singles night

Call all your single friends, co-workers, neighbors, and family members and have some fun showering each with love. Go out, stay in, have a sleepover, do a Valentines Day gift exchange; celebrate love with each other. It always feels good to surround yourself with those you can relate to.

4. Binge Watch Comedies with loved ones

There is nothing more powerful than laughter. I love to binge watch comedies on Valentines Day with the people I love.  Laughter just feels so good and when I am feeling lonely, I like to binge watch shows that are goofy, are filled with dry humor, and are completely care free. Some of my favorites series to binge are Community, The Office, New Girl, and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

My daughter is my Valentine so I will be showering her with love and then cuddling up with my pillow on the couch in front of the TV and watching my faves with a glass of wine.

5. Take yourself out on a date

Hell yeah it is scary to go out by yourself as a single person on Valentines Day, but do it anyway. Get comfortable being with yourself; don’t hide or isolate. Get dressed up and take yourself out to your favorite place. You deserve it.


You can enjoy this Valentines Day when you make love the priority. 

Don’t let the balloons, the roses, the chocolate, and the red and pink stuffed animals with the caption “I Love You” on it, ruin your February 14th. It’s a day of love and gratitude and even in your singleness we have so much to be grateful for and so many who love us. Let the self-lovin begin.  

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