My Lost Sister: (Part 5)


I loved boys!
In our house, we weren’t allowed to date until we were sixteen, which made me want them more.

My big sister wasn’t as “boy crazy” as me.

She liked boys, I think, but she never chased them like I did.
I always was crushing hard on some guy.
I would purposefully flirt and subtlety  make myself noticeable to them.
I loved the attention, when I got it.
But as boy crazy as I was, I was innocent and inexperienced.

I had my first kiss the summer before 6th grade.
And even though most of my friends weren’t virgins, I was.

I can’t remember my big sister having one boyfriend…
We were four years a part.
When I was in 8th grade she was a senior in high school.
I could see all the high school boys that she could talk to, and think about how I couldn’t wait to be in 9th grade.
I never understood why she didn’t go on dates all the time…
I think she might have went on two dates when she was in high school, but that’s it.
I always just assumed it was because she was shy.

When I was in middle school, I had four boyfriends that of course, I hid from my parents.
I had boyfriends in elementary school too,  but they don’t count.
I remember me and my big sister would sit and talk about boys all the time…well, it was more like me talking, her listening…
She seemed interested in my armature stories but never shared any of her own.

On weekends, a group of us girls would get together to play.
We would walk around the neighborhood looking for boys.
At the park, we would watch the boys play basketball.
We would go to another court and shoot around in our cute clothes, hoping they would notice us.
The boys would ask us if they could come and and shoot around with us.
I loved playing boys against girls.
After the games, the boys would pair off with us and try to get our numbers.

My sister didn’t really pair off.
I think it bothered her that guys did not give her that much attention.
I always felt bad but didn’t know what to do about it.
My big sister was pretty!
She was kind!
She was smart!
I just don’t think she saw herself that way.
That made me sad to think about.

I think she wanted a boyfriend.

I hoped she would get one.


(Part 6 coming soon)


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Ta'lor Pinkspen

Welcome ladies and gentlemen! This is Ta'lor Pinkspen, BA|MSW|SFW, Inspirational Blogger for women, Poet, Prospective Self-love Coach, Feminist, Equality Advocate, and Women & Family Therapist My blog focuses on Women's Empowerment, Beauty Standards, Body Positivity, Motherhood, Healthy Relationships, College girls and Equality. LADYHOOD journey seeks to uplift all women and promote self-love. LADYHOOD journey challenges social concerns like body shaming, beauty standards, racial and gender discrimination, in order to empower women to be advocates and to incorporate self-love into their journey. I want women and all my readers to leave my site feeling uplifted, supported, and empowered in every stage of life. I love to spend time with my daughter, going to local bars and restaurants with family & friends, online shopping, photography, writing poetry, sipping Chia Tea or Iced Coffee, sitting on my porch while drinking a glass of dry red wine or dark beer, and listening to music from artists like Chance the Rapper, SZA, Pentatonix, H.E.R, Alessia Cara, Sabrina Claudio, Jhene Aiko, Frank Ocean, Coldplay, and Kings of Leon.

12 thoughts on “My Lost Sister: (Part 5)

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