It’s not a choice…

Why would anyone want to be LGBTQIAP+?

To be bullied in school?

To be exiled from their families?

To lose friendships?

So that they can know what a hate crime is?

For injustice?

To be judged?

…discriminated against…?

To have people stare?

So that they can feel like an outcast?

To be told that who they are is sin?

That they are not right? … Inhuman?

To be shunned from their churches? Housing? Employment?

To have partial rights?

To get beat up in public restrooms?

To be hated?

…looked down upon…?

For inequality?

To be beaten?


Or to end their lives?

It’s not a choice…

If it was, who would choose this?


This is the reality for those who identify as Transgender and for all those individuals in the LGBTQIAP+ community. I do not believe that our sexuality is a choice or something we can control, no matter if the choice was made at age 5 or 50+. I know many do not agree with this, but who would choose a life of inequality? Who would choose to be shunned, bullied, and tormented by our white, Christian, heterosexual, male dominated society?

In 2010, President Barack Obama repealed the discriminatory policy Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, which prohibited homosexuals and lesbians from serving in the Armed Forces.

Government housing programs and services are now accessible to the LGBTQIAP+ community since 2012, when the law was passed against housing discrimination.

President Obama also signed an Executive Order, preventing discrimination against job candidates or employees because they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender in 2014.

In 2015, Same-sex marriage was legalized nationwide and it is a constitutional right for the LGBTQIAP+ community.

This progression is noted, but we still have work to do, because every human deserves equality.

In 2014, in North Carolina, a 17-year-old student at Gloucester High School, Gavin Grimm, a transgender male, just wanted to feel like every other male in his school. Grimm transitioned to male and had legally changed his name and initially was allowed to use boys’ restroom but shortly lost this right, due to the concerns of individuals in the schools community. The lawyers for the Alliance Defending Freedom, a non-profit legal organization, on behalf of Grimms, “sent a letter to the school board, stating that only a ‘minuscule percentage’ of individuals identify as transgender and that it was necessary for the school board to protect ‘other students’ privacy and free exercise rights,’ as well as ‘parents’ right to educate their children.’” Grimm was forbidden to use the boy’s bathroom, so his lawyers filed a lawsuit against the Gloucester County School Board. “A federal appeals court ruled in Grimm’s favor, deferring to guidance put out by the Obama administration concerning Title IX, a federal law that bans sex discrimination in schools. That guidance interprets “sex discrimination” to include claims based on gender identity.” This passing Friday, October 28, 2016, Grimm stated, “I will do everything I can to make sure that other transgender students don’t have to go through the same experience.”

It is important for everyone to remember that no one deserves to feel like they are inhuman. We are not talking about murderers, rapists, or child molesters; these are human beings that just want to live as normally as they possibly can. Imagine being born female, and feeling like you should be a different gender? The last thing you would want to think about is where you pee.

Of course, the questions of safety has been brought to light. Now, people are worrying about Individuals portraying themselves as a different gender, using the bathroom, in hopes of videotaping, peeping, sexually assaulting, raping, or kidnapping someone. This definitely poses a major threat to the safety of all individuals. Although this is a meaningful argument, this can happen now in gender specific bathrooms. If the argument is about playing dress up, this can happen even without considering transgender men and women’s rights, so why are we just considering this now? This seems like an excuse or a reason to put a negative connotation against transgender individuals as perpetrator’s, which is not fair.

As a heterosexual, black, female, I know what discrimination feels like and I am obligated to stand up and advocate for all those around me. I can recall a time when African Americans were not able to drink from public water fountains, sit in the front of a public bus, use public restrooms, or do anything that white people could do because we were considered unsanitary… less than human… different…


LGBTQIAP+ (check this out)




Featured Image Source:


Published by

Ta'lor Pinkspen

Welcome ladies and gentlemen! This is Ta'lor Pinkspen, BA|MSW|SFW, Inspirational Blogger for women, Poet, Prospective Self-love Coach, Feminist, Equality Advocate, and Women & Family Therapist My blog focuses on Women's Empowerment, Beauty Standards, Body Positivity, Motherhood, Healthy Relationships, College girls and Equality. LADYHOOD journey seeks to uplift all women and promote self-love. LADYHOOD journey challenges social concerns like body shaming, beauty standards, racial and gender discrimination, in order to empower women to be advocates and to incorporate self-love into their journey. I want women and all my readers to leave my site feeling uplifted, supported, and empowered in every stage of life. I love to spend time with my daughter, going to local bars and restaurants with family & friends, online shopping, photography, writing poetry, sipping Chia Tea or Iced Coffee, sitting on my porch while drinking a glass of dry red wine or dark beer, and listening to music from artists like Chance the Rapper, SZA, Pentatonix, H.E.R, Alessia Cara, Sabrina Claudio, Jhene Aiko, Frank Ocean, Coldplay, and Kings of Leon.

10 thoughts on “It’s not a choice…

  1. Thanks for linking me! This is a phenomenal blog post. I’m really glad you’re talking about Gavin-and if you need further information on cases like his, there’s one at my (I’m ashamed to say) former high school, but this time about a little girl. Highland Local School District (Marengo, Ohio) just lost their case demanding they be allowed to keep her out of girls’ restrooms. Obviously the judge was phenomenal (having been quoted as saying “let her be the little girl she is”) but another case of people not understanding basic human rights and identities. Great work!


    1. Thank you Anthromichelle for checking out my post and I gratefully appreciate your comment. I believe that there is so much progress to be made. That situation in Marengo, Ohio is one of many and I feel it is everyone’s job to advocate for injustices. I am just doing my part.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s