From one college girl to another, after you graduate with your bachelors or master’s, or both degrees like myself, you will still think about how foolish you were where relationships are concerned in college.
I spent 8 years living on one college campus, first in the dorms and then off-campus in multiple apartments, and there are some things that I wish I would have known before I made simple and some major mistakes in dating college guys …
If you are:
- graduating from high school and planning to attend college
- a Freshman girl already living on or off campus
- upperclassmen who are trapped in various relationships with guys on a college campus and don’t know how they got there.
- are a recent graduate who is being haunted by your college dating experiences
This series: A College Girls Guide to Dating is for you.
Rule #1: Most men want your “goodies” and they will say or do anything to get it!!
I remember the first day of classes… In the middle of campus was the Student Union that hosted the main cafeteria. It was a large building of intimidation, filled with students entering and exiting in between classes. I decided to get food. As I walked into the Union, having no idea of where I was going, I decided to follow the students in front of me. As I walked up the stairwell, I see 10-15 upperclassmen sitting in booths and chairs at the top landing, and as every attractive female walked past, they would shout of various forms of flattery to guarantee her attention.
A few girls would walk over to them and some would just smile and continue to other floors. When I reached the landing, I was greeted with the same form of flattery…I couldn’t help but smile but I continued to the cafe.
At the time, I had just turned 18, and the first month as a college freshman was filled with attention from guys. What started out with guys asking for my number, turned into “oooo girl what I got to do to get that?”
What I came to realize is that it didn’t take much. What I wish I would have been told is how good it would feel to have college guys admire my honey eyes, big butt and full figure.
We as women know all about the lines that men use to get our attention, what no one says is how to ignore this attention.
It is difficult because compliments feel so good to hear, and since all women have some form of insecurity, knowing the difference between a genuine compliment from a guy who really likes you, as opposed to the guy who just wants to “smash” or “hit that,” can be difficult.
Here is the Secret:
To prevent falling for the flattery and compliments, understand that most guys are doing and saying the same thing to every other girl on campus. The guy that really wants to be with you, will not shout you out in front of all his friends because he wants you to himself. He won’t tell anyone except his best friend about you.
As a woman, you are special and you should not need a man to tell you or make you feel that you are. This is the most important lesson I learned during my college dating experiences – dating is great, but not if you do not know your worth.
Don’t fall for the words, wait for the actions.