The College Girl Dating Rulebook

Going to college was one of the best and interesting experiences of my life; I learned so much about myself and I learned many lessons about men and relationships…

Continue reading “The College Girl Dating Rulebook”

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Fathers & their Daughters…

In today’s society, it seems the rates of single parent homes, where the female is the head of the household is becoming more common.

“According to U.S. Census Bureau,3 out of about 12 million single parent families in 2014, more than 80% were headed by single mothers.” (The Single Mother’s Guide)

There can be negative outcomes of children being raised in a home without a father present. Concerns like early involvement in crime, addiction and substance usage, and sexual exploration; higher rates of living in poverty, promiscuity, teen pregnancy, and having low self-esteem may all have some connection to high rates of youth growing up without a father.

Although, this statistic is realistically devastating, it puts a lot of pressure on individuals who grew up in two parent homes, whether married or not, to live up to a certain standard. Even if your father is present, popular culture has created a negative influence on young girls that can be out of a fathers control! 

I grew up in a Christian home, with two parents that were married prior to having any children. I was one of few of my friends who actually had their father living with them in their home.

Like any teenager, I made many mistakes when it came to relationships with boys and I struggled with my self-esteem.

I was raised to wait to have sex until I was married… My parents taught me that boys only want one thing, and of course I knew what my parents meant by that, but I still fell short.

What my parents did not share was how good it felt to get attention from males and how to recognize their tactics in order to not fall for lines like, “you wanna come over and watch a movie?” Of course the movie is never even put into the DVD player, and as females, we are left feeling even lonelier than we did prior to the invitation.

I went from being a virgin up until age 17, to going to college at 18 and being shoved into a world of sex, drugs, and alcohol. I had no idea how to factor in maintaining being “the lady” that my parents raised me and my siblings to be.

College campuses are filled with multiple individuals who participate in one night stands, hook-ups, multiple partners, and the occasional relationship.

Those individuals who are in committed relationships or have exes, are then forced to be located on one campus that you can’t escape from for at least 2-5 years, which can cause a series of problems.

Having a father in the home is not enough to prevent a young girl, age 17-18 from being placed in these compromising situations, but active communication, may help prevent common mistakes girls make as they get older. 

This concern, I feel, is lacking from fathers communication with their daughter’s in todays society.

I am a blessed woman to say that I grew up with a father who was always there for me and gave me life lessons when I asked for his help in certain situations in my life.

It is not always easy for a girl to go to her father for advice or questions. As females, it seems easier for us to connect with our mothers as we get older because we have a similar concern, boys and men.

This connection can sometimes cause the father to feel left out or unneeded, but in reality, when a girl becomes a teenager or a young woman, this is when she needs her father to step up and invade her space the most. 

Often times than not, a daughter will not know how to come to you as her father, but when it comes to her relationships with young men, she needs her fathers advice more than her mothers or her friends, who she will more than likely speak to first.

I am not a father, but as a new mother of a little lady, who is in a relationship with her child’s father, but not married, I desire for my daughter to have a relationship with her dad where she feels comfortable to talk to him about anything.

I want him to invade her space, even when she is in her teenage years by bombarding her with questions and embarrassing her with hugs and kisses in public so every man will know that she is loved and needs no man!

This may not prevent her from making some of the same mistakes that I made, but I feel it may lower the likelihood.

-Pinkspen

 

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